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Problematic Practice

Stage Right                                 Stage Center                             Stage Left

ProBlEmaTic   pRacTIce

Brainstormed by Oasis Drama Team

Final Draft by Rex Hughes and Katelyn North

 

 

Actors:

 

Ÿ         Katelyn

Ÿ         Sarah D.

Ÿ         Sarah

Ÿ         David H.

Ÿ         David L.

Ÿ         Rex

Ÿ         Brent

Ÿ         Marla

Ÿ         Ryan

Ÿ         Nathan

 

Lights on; Soap Opera Music plays; Rex and Sarah D.  playing ‘Young and Restless’ Parts; Rex has a fake moustache; Deeply dramatic

 

Rex: Nikki, I don’t see how this can go on.

 

Sarah D: Victor, we’ve been through hard times before. We can fix this problem. Trust me.. Please.

 

Rex: No, Nikki. There is no solution in sight. This problem will never be solved as long as you are dating your Great-Grandmother’s Cousin’s Roommate’s Employee’s Auditor’s.. um.. Garbage Man’s..

 

Takes off moustache

 

Rex: Katy, this isn’t gonna work!

 

Sarah D: Yeah. It’s too hard!

 

Katy steps up

 

Katy: Alright guys. What seems to be the problem?

 

Rex: Well, for starters, our skit is a soap opera.

 

Katy: Alright, I admit it probably wasn’t the best idea, but our theme is working out problems, and they always have problems to solve on those shows.

 

Brent: Katy, the people on those shows have problems.

 

Katy sighs

 

Katy: Alright. Alright, we’ll try something else. Has anyone got any ideas?

 

Dead silence; Sarah plays Jeopardy music

 

Katy: OK, OK thank you Sarah. Guys, let’s try this. When you think of the word “problem”, what comes to mind?

 

David H: A worldwide computer virus.

 

Brent: The foolish people at COSI.

 

Rex: A pop quiz in Geometry.

 

Rick: A White Castle slider.

 

Katy: No, guys, what I mean is..

 

Nathan jumps up

 

Nathan: When I think of the word problem, I think of it in the universal sense. Good versus evil, Right versus wrong..

 

Katy: Alright, this might be going somewhere.

 

Nathan: Hit it Sarah!

 

Sarah starts to play Star Wars music

 

Nathan: Obi-Wan Kenobi Versus Darth Vader! The constant struggle of the Jedi and the Sith that determines the fate of the very galaxy that holds within its boundaries the lives of millions of innocents, aliens and humans alike. A struggle that takes place on land and in the vacuum of space with star destroyers and death stars and lasers flying..

 

Makes laser gun imitation

 

Nathan: KRAKOW KRAKOW KRAKOW!

 

Katy: Nathan! That’s quite enough!

 

Rex: Thank you, Mr. Skywalker.

 

Star Wars music turns off

 

Katy: Now, back to business..

 

Brent: Well, what about in the old shows, like MacGyver? The guy could always solve the most complicated problems and make a nuclear bomb out of a 9-volt battery and a fountain pen.

 

Marla: Is that possible?

 

David H: Anything is possible on TV, Marla.

 

Marla: Whatever…

 

Katy: Guys, we’re getting side-tracked. We need to think of everyday problems that we all face, not something that deals with global conquest.

 

David L: Why?

 

Katy: Because it needs to be relative to people’s lives, it needs to stay simple so that we can actually do it on this stage, and because I’m the director and I said so!

 

Rick: Well, I didn’t vote for you!

 

Brent: You don’t vote for directors, man.

 

Rex: Guys, let’s let Katy do her job.

 

Katy: (exasperated) Thank you. Now, I’m going to pass out these pieces of paper and pens, and I want each of you to write down any ideas you have, and then we’ll collaborate.

 

Rick raises hand and hides his piece of paper

 

Katy: Yes Rick.

 

Rick: I didn’t get a piece.

 

Marla: Be quiet Rick.

 

Start to write ideas down; Hardly anyone can think of anything, except Rick is writing ideas down furiously

 

Katy: Alright, does anyone have any ideas?

 

Rick: One second!

 

Pause

 

David H: Ooh! I have one!

 

Katy: Alright. David, what are your ideas?

 

David H: Well, um, we’re at this burger joint, see. And the guy at the cashier says that one of us ordered a small soda, when we clearly ordered a large. We try to remind him that the customer is right and all, but this guy refuses to give us a refund. So we have to decide whether we compromise or go to the manager and get this burger punk fired..

 

Sarah D raises her hand

 

Katy: (interrupting) Sarah, your turn.

 

Sarah D: We should have someone at school, and they have a problem with bad grades. They could be really bummed out about it, but one of their friends could help them solve the problem. Like, say, David was getting an F in History..

 

David L: I am not.

 

Sarah D: Hypothetically. Work with me.

 

Rick: Wait a minute, how can you help someone with their grades? Are you cheating?

 

Sarah: No! You could remind them when there’s a test and help them study during lunch..

 

David L: I still feel insulted that you think I’m getting an F.

 

Sarah: Ugh..! No, it’s..

 

Katy: Alright guys! Those ideas won’t work.

 

Ryan: Why not? Because they aren’t your ideas?

 

Katy: No, because they obviously aren’t working out now, so we can’t work with them.

 

Rick: We have good ideas too, you know!

 

Katy: Alright, you seemed to be writing a lot. What are your ideas Rick?

 

Rick holds up paper; Drawing on it

 

Rick: Well, you see, I got bored. So I did a drawing of a pumpkin!

 

Katy sighs

 

Brent: You know, we could do something with those ideas.

 

Katy: No, we couldn’t.

 

Nathan: I think so too! I’m with you Brent.

 

Katy: Guys, trust me! They won’t work!

 

Sarah D: We trust you Katy! Right Rex?

 

Rex: Well.. I.. Uh.. I don’t like confrontations!

 

Ryan: I say we vote people off of the idea committee!

 

Rick: Yeah, kinda like Survivor!

 

Katy: Guys, we have to solve this as a group!

 

Ryan: I’ll get the war paint!

 

Pulls out face paint and a few put it on their faces; Survivor-ish music starts to play; Form a circle except for Katy; Brent stands in front

 

Brent: Alright, first order of business as the tribes gather..

 

Katy: There are no tribes!

 

Brent: We must come to the heart wrenching ceremony of voting a member off of the idea committee. Cast your votes now.

 

Write down on slips of paper; Reveal them; A few say ‘Katy’

 

David L: Sarah. You have to vote.

 

Sarah D: Alright, I vote you off.

 

Holds up paper that says David L.

 

David L: It’s because of that F in History isn’t it?

 

Brent: Majority rules. Katy North has been voted off of the idea island.

 

Katy: Guys, we need to finish this! The skit is in two weeks and practice is almost… (looks at watch) over.

 

Ryan: Practice is done? See ya guys!

 

All say their goodbyes; Some say their rides are here; After all but Katy and Sarah E. are gone, Katy sits down in frustration; Sarah E. packs up her keyboard

 

Sarah: Don’t worry Katy. Everything will be alright.

 

Katy: No it won’t. We’ll never get the skit done, and they obviously didn’t want to do it. They won’t even listen. They practically voted me out of the group!

 

Sarah: They probably didn’t mean it. They were just frustrated as well. You know, problems don’t last forever. Sometimes it just takes time and patience to work through a situation. All you have to do is look to God, and He‘ll show you what to do. He’s the greatest problem-solver there is, and nothing is impossible for Him.

 

Sarah and Katy exit; Lights out

 

The End